Watching: Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, part 2

Part 2 of following The Nerdist’s guide on how to watch all of Marvel’s universe in order. We’re only watching one or two (if it’s a television episode) a night. Just for schlitz and giggles, here’s a running commentary on each. I’ll randomly post them after we’ve watched a few. Obviously, if you’ve never seen the movies…

Spoilers, Sweeties.

5/10/15 – Iron Man 2

Everyone’s least favorite Marvel movie. It doesn’t really bother me that much, I mean, it’s not as good as Iron Man, but I wouldn’t pan it like others do…ew, Mickey Rourke’s fingernails are dirty…I don’t really remember why Mickey hates Tony Stark so much, I’m guessing it has something to do with his father, Howard Stark?…Howard Stark is totally Walt Disney. I’m pretty sure I saw Walt doing the same thing with Tomorrowland. Foreshadowing of Disney buying Marvel?…That’s Stan Lee as Larry King! Ha ha, awesome. I never noticed before…Garry Shandling, Hail Hydra…Wow, Rhodey, you sure got smaller since the last film, but I LOVE Don Cheadle!!!…RDJ just kills it as Tony Stark…I’d much rather have the Iron Man art on my wall too…Scarlett Johansson is so pretty, it’s ridiculous…she always impressed me with her kung fu/kick boxing/whatever she does awesomeness… “I, um, need your impression.” “You have a quiet reserve, I don’t know, kind of an old soul” funny funny…I kind of feel sorry for Justin Hammer, he tries so hard, but he can never be Tony Stark…I would love to go to Monaco one day. That scenery is absolutely gorgeous, old world meets upper echelon. Plus, to see the Grand Prix in person? New bucket list item!…Let’s drive the car straight onto the racetrack! Smart idea!…Cars are blowing up behind him, and this dude’s just walking like he’s taking a leisurely stroll along a duck pond…yep, now the sharks are in the water and are after Tony’s blood…how’d they find a prisoner so willing to give up his life?…who eats in an airport hangar?…are Justin Hammer’s hand supposed to look orange-y like he gives himself self tans?…I love Natasha playing it straight, it was fun to see her transform into Black Widow…I don’t like drunk Tony…uh oh, Rhodey getting mad…are we going to see the birth…of…WAR MACHINE?!… “Side…kick…THIS!”…Oooh, Tony said War Machine’s name! The first instance of it!…Kurt: “would the government have eminent domain over Tony’s suit? And couldn’t Tony just claim the 2^nd Amendment?” love it when he talks Civics to me…War Machine straight up stole that suit… “I told you, I don’t want to join your super secret boy band”…ah, here’s Black Widow!…geeze, I love Nick Fury…Hammer is so awkward, it’s kind of hard to watch…I love that little smirk from Fury after he tells Tony he has his “eye” on him…Hammer sucking on a sucker is weird, creepy, and makes me feel a little uncomfortable… “What is and always will be my greatest creation…is you.” Oh my gosh, that little speech from Howard to Tony gets me every time…Tony fumbling over his feelings for Pepper is so cute…that is not really Captain America’s shield, his is full metal…New Mexico! Thor! Yay!! Love these little Easter eggs…Hammer’s like the awkward kid in high school that never got picked for any team and then tries to prove to everyone how smart he really is and how he’ll change the world and they’ll all rue the day they offended him! He just tries so. hard…Black Widow kicks so much butt…Happy is just so adorable, beating up that one guy while Black Widow takes down a dozen…I love that fierce face she gives!…they are so cute when they fight! TS +PP 4eva…Iron Man and War Machine, love it…The ex-wife, always a disappointment…I love the way he saved Pepper…omgggggggggggg, that kiss!…”Which leads us to believe that at this juncture, we’d only like to use you as a consultant.” OH so that’s why he is the consultant!! That explains so much from that Marvel one shot…and did I detect some Incredible Hulk footage on the screen in the room where Fury was talking? It’s all coming together…there’s even a song in the credits that sounds just like There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow from the Carousel of Progress in Tomorrowland!…Thor’s Hammer! I always loved this extra scene, it showed so much into the next movie.

5/10/15 – A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer [Marvel One Shot]

Here’s another Marvel One Shot…I’ve never seen any of these, so it’s kind of exciting to watching new things from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe…good thing we have the Captain America bluray, so we can watch it in HD…who just leaves the gas pumping while he goes inside the store?!…Coulson is just a BAMF!!!…completely unnecessary to the MCU, but definitely made me remember why I love Coulson!

5/11/15 – Thor

Thor! You know what that means…LOKI!!! I can’t believe that the first time I watched Thor, I didn’t really have a strong attachment/feeling toward Loki. He was just so darn good in the Avengers, I was completely smitten by the end of it. But now, I like to go back and watch Thor and see the beginning of his dance with darkness (is it really the beginning, though? Or more of just the fruition?)…I wonder if Thor helped Kat Dennings’ career on 2 Broke Girls…so the Frost Giants caused the Ice Age, huh…Odin with two eyes, nice…and now there’s just a hole there…I love how Asgard is so advanced, with their floaty, spinning towers and their Wizard of Oz castle…well, here’s the whole problem. Odin tells little Thor and Loki that only one can ascend to the throne, but they were both born to be kings. He instilled jealousy and self-doubt and longing in the wee lad!…I like Thor better with the shorter hair…ooh, look at Loki throwing shade!…I love how Odin puts Thor in his place, and Loki just quietly smirks without actually smirking…Loki’s silver tongue, planting the seed…why does only Thor sound like a faux medieval Shakespearean king?… Yodenheim seems like a nice play for a winter vaca…Loki looks a little scared…Loki’s confusion when he touches the Frost Giant is perfect…how can that thing run UNDER the ice bridge thing? It’s like a giant bug…Odin on a stag in a beam of light, beautiful… “You are a vain, greedy, and cruel boy!” “And you are an old man and a fool!”…I love that Odin does the ‘shush’ thing by Dr. Evil to Loki after he says father…Natalie Portman is GORGEOUS…and boom goes the hammer…Did the guy in the red truck know something was there? Or was he just randomly driving and saw the hole?…this might be my favorite Stan Lee cameo, he just looks so happy…When Loki asks what am I, and Odin responds, “you’re my son,” dude, he totally stole that line from Lion King ‘you’re my son, and the one, true king.’…my poor Loki, crying, betrayed by his father, my heart is breaking…Jane turning into a puddle once Thor kisses her hand reminds me of how I feel about Kurt…the grabbing of the book out of Jane’s hand was a great little moment…Erik Selvig is one cool mofo…Does Asgard just put Odin in front of random words to make them sound more important? ‘I am Odinson’ ‘He fell into the Odin Sleep’ ‘I need to use the Odin Toilet’…Loki is right, he can’t just undo the last king’s orders by bringing Thor back, he’d look weak… “You think me strange?” I mean, no one else in Asgard talks like that…Awww, Loki’s about to cry again…SHIELD sure does move fast…Agent Sitwell is in more Marvel movies than I remember…Thor is almost as impressive as Black Widow at taking down men…the first appearance of Hawkeye!…the look of abject failure on Thor’s face, with the rain falling over him = priceless… Heimdall sees all…Thor’s eyebrows are so blonde…I love when Coulson leaves and Loki is just there!…Loki in a suit, yum yum…Loki is pretty cruel, Thor’s only ever loved him…Loki, did you really think you’d be worthy of Mjölnir…Selvig trying to take down Thor in a drinking contest… “I still don’t think you’re the God of Thunder, but you ought to be!”…gotta put away the cereal, don’t want Thor to see that you eat Go Lean Crunch!…I thought Thor was supposed to be followed? Because it sure doesn’t look like anyone is following him…

Loki, if you were just nice, Thor’s friends would like you. I know, it’s all Odin’s fault…it’s amazing how fast Thor learned humility… “Is there a Renaissance fair today?” “Base, we’ve got Xena, Jackie Chan, and Robin Hood!”…how did Thor’s friends know where he was? Does Thor have a homing device on him?…Lady Sif and the Warriors Three? Poor men get no name recognition…it’s a wee bit freaky when Loki suddenly turns blue when he freezes Heimdall…nice shoutout to Tony Stark by Coulson… Volstagg aka Pullo from Rome always gets the raw end of the deal…little romantic tension between Thor and Sif…and its robot Cyclops with the beyotch-slap!…Odin in his Odin Sleep sees Thor Odinson and Odin weeps…okay, when Thor gets the hammer back and the lightning and stuff surround him, it’s pretty cheesy…but the look on Selvig’s face makes up for it!!!…Heimdall’s silent screams…you will return for her? Yeah, in two years, jerk! She made you worthy of that hammer!…Rene Russo, you live to see another day…but not too many, ha ha… “And your death came by the son of Odin!” I love that line. Loki just wants to be loved. And Thor RUINS IT…Loki just randomly gets a horse. So, are horses from Asgard and they brought them to Earth, did they take them from Earth and bring them to Asgard, or did they somehow exist on both planets independently?…Oh my gosh, when Thor tells Loki that he can’t kill an entire race and Loki asks why not, then laughs and smiles that big smile *swoon*…Loki and Thor fighting is my favorite part of the movie…Tom Hiddleston just looks like he’s having so much fun…putting the hammer on Loki is genius, but shouldn’t it crush him?…Odin wakes up as soon as Thor starts destroying rainbow road…Odin to the rescue…Loki just sounds so pitiful, this was Odin’s chance…God, that face, I just want to caress it, my poor Loki…yet Thor still loves his brother. As do I, Thor, as do I…Odin’s eyepatch is much cooler than Fury’s…poor Heimdall, having to stand at the bridge his whole life, but now just staring into the cracked pieces of rainbow road…the extra scene gives away so much! They’ve really up their extra scene game…OMG that Loki whisper…okay, if you thought this was heavy on the Loki love, just wait until we watch the Avengers again!!!