Treat Students The Way They Want to Be Treated

Ignore the Golden Rule

As a teacher, you can’t follow the golden rule. I don’t have the same experience as a black student, gay student, or female student. I need to treat students the way they want to be treated. This doesn’t mean give them what they want, but to treat them as a human.

Between Mrs. Nola Nerd Couple and myself, we have over 30 years of teaching experience. We still love teaching. The reason why the Mrs. went to South Korea was to learn more for her students. Almost every night after I put the baby to bed, I did some form of lesson planning.

This got me to thinking of what advice I would give to those just entering the profession. I keep coming back to one thing. And it’s the exact opposite I was told as a new teacher. If you are going to be a teacher, then you need to smile as much as you possibly can.

The Bad Advice

The old adage in education was to “not smile until Christmas.”

God, that is such bad advice.

If you want kids to learn from you, they need to respect you. Respect does not equal fear.

“Light up your face with gladness.”

To be able to reach a student, they need to be able to trust you. Smiles build trust.

As a new teacher, smile when your students walk through the door: not just the first day, but every day.

Smile when they do something amazing. And that’s when they do something that is amazing to them.

Smile when they want to tell you something even if it’s not the topic of the day. If they feel the need to tell you things, they trust you. They will then be more receptive when you have to instruct them.

Even On Bad Days

Smiling doesn’t make you weak. Being inconsistent does. Trust me, I taught a new subject last year, and I was very inconsistent. It was not my best year.

Smiling doesn’t mean you can’t be strict. The Mrs is one of the most rigorous teachers I know, and she would tell you she spends most of each day smiling.

You will have to correct kids. Some days, you will lose your cool. You are human. However, when the dust settles, let the child know it’s ok. And when you do, do it with a smile.

And for God’s sake, don’t smile all the time. That’s just weird. Just allow yourself to be genuine. Most people prefer happiness to anger, sadness, contempt, etc.

Smiling Doesn’t Mean Positivity

Too often in education the phrase “positive attitude” is misused. One way it is often used is in this sly way of accepting things as they are. The “all we need is a positive attitude” fallacy.

It dangers on toxic positivity. It leads to complacement and worse assilimation.

While I do smile all the time, my teaching power comes from anger. I’m angered that kids don’t have enough love at home, angered that some don’t have enough to eat, angered that some of them have to support their family.

I hate that some kids don’t have the proper medical and mental health care they desperately need. I hate that there is a stigma to taking medicine that helps them focus. It angers me that their are doctors that don’t do a proper diagnosis and just give in to the parents demands for medicines that calm their child.

I hate that a black kid who is stopped by the police on the way to school has to act differently from a white one, or even myself.

These are the things we have to overcome in our profession. We can’t blame the parents, because that does not do a single thing. It might make us feel good, but it is not a solution.

Treat Students The Way They Want to Be Treated

We have to do more. We have to be everything to our students when they are in our care. We can’t solve most of those problems. But we can understand them. And we must understand our kids.

We must find ways to let them know we are on their side. We have to let them know that treating them differently is sometimes treating every kid as equals. It’s rough, but its why we do it.

And when it’s time, let your guard down and smile.