Nola Nerd Couple/Family: Balancing Fandom and Family

Being nerds and fanatics for all things pop culture defined our identities for years. We lived for the latest episode discussions and midnight movie premieres. Our obsession drove the passion behind this little blog of ours. But then we became parents, and our priorities slowly started to shift. We struggled balancing fandom and family.

Don’t get us wrong – we still geek out over new Star Wars releases and analyze every moment of our favorite shows. But this mini-human relied on us to show her the world and teach her about life. Our focus expanded beyond just consuming content to shaping an entire person.

While this transition presented challenges, we’ve also found beautiful new ways to share our interests as a family. Our aim became enjoying fandoms together and balancing fandom and family.

The Challenges of Balancing Fandom and Family

After our daughter arrived, we struggled to balance our ingrained fan habits with the needs of parenthood. Late-night screenings and staying up to binge a new show felt next to impossible. Keeping up with release schedules and internet discourse became difficult amid dirty diapers and nap time. Plus, we have to put food on the table and be teachers, so we have a lot of homework from time to time.

Simply put, obsessing over fictional worlds seemed frivolous compared to caring for a tiny human. The all-consuming fandom mentality that has defined us for so long no longer fits our new life.

We also worried about projecting our interests too much onto our child. While sharing some passions felt natural, we didn’t want to force her to love what we loved. She deserved the chance to develop her tastes and personality outside our preexisting nerdy worlds. Honestly, now that she is five, this is my favorite part of being a dad. Watching her find her musical taste and favorite shows has been a joy. It is her being her own authentic self and not a little version of me or her mom.

Passing the Torch Without Forcing It

As our daughter grew older, we sought age-appropriate ways to share our interests without pushing them on her. We often would watch a show while she played. Just when we thought she wasn’t paying attention, we would be somewhere like Barnes and Noble, and she would point out a Good Omen’s game or a Loki Funko pop.

When she became more vocal and active, we introduced books, games, and shows we enjoyed at her age. Watching her eyes light up at new characters and adventures thrilled us. We made sure to balance our nostalgic favorites with new stories she discovered. She made us watch and obsess over the Descendants with her. For example, we were listening to the soundtrack on a recent road trip, and I remarked I didn’t remember a song from the movie. She told me the whole lead-up to the song, including the character’s motivation for singing the song.

Seeing Her World Through Curious Eyes

One of our greatest joys has been reexperiencing beloved stories and characters alongside our daughter as she engages with them for the first time. Her fresh takes, hilarious reactions, and endless questions gave us a new perspective.

One of the great things about her is her empathy. She truly feels what a character feels. It is so wholesome watching her being scared or sad for a character. Sometimes, it is all too much for her. Times like that let us know we are raising a good human.

A More Inclusive Fandom Experience

Parenthood has made us reconsider fandom from a more ethical lens – how media shapes young minds and the diversity of stories we expose them to matters deeply. We think more critically about problematic tropes in our cherished classics and seek out sci-fi, fantasy, and superheroes that represent all kinds of people.

We aren’t stopping her from watching Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, or anything classic. We are trying to make our viewing less passive and more active. We talk about shows with her and answer her questions. We let her drive the discussion. And we do our best to answer her truthfully answering her questions.

Conventions and Community for the Whole Family

We’ve found balance by seeking out family-friendly fan events and communities. Many cons offer engaging programming for all ages. We love introducing our daughter to the participatory side of fandom – meeting creators, gathering swag, or dressing up.

We have noticed at cons how other fans are accommodating not only to our little one but all littles. It makes sense. Going to cons is often about nostalgia, reminding us of the little one inside us all.

Balance Through Moderation

As much as we enjoy all things pop culture together, balance remains key. We set reasonable limits around screen time and diversify activities to stimulate learning, imagination, and time outdoors.

However, in south Louisiana, going outdoors wasn’t always an option, with “feels like” temperatures consistently above 110 degrees. So yes, we did do more screen time. But again, we try always to stay abreast of what she is watching. We only let her use YouTube Kids and are not afraid to block them.

While fandom still holds meaning for us, we recognize our child needs a variety of interests and real-world experiences, too. We aim for moderation that nurtures her multifaceted development.

Our identities as nerds and fans expanded – but didn’t disappear – when we became parents. We’ve found a new purpose in sharing passions with our kids while respecting their individual journeys. Fandom now means bonding as a family and passing the torch to a new generation.